Keep the Peace

“Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… and it’s all small stuff” by Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

I found this book on Amazon during a burst of realization that I hadn’t been reading. NADA. When I read the little blurb that said it would show you “how to keep from letting the little things in life drive you crazy” – THIS WAS THE ONE.

As a notorious overthinker that lets the little things bother me (without fail), I needed this wisdom in my life. Every time I open this book, my way of thinking shifts, so it felt selfish of me not to share.

“Choose Being Kind Over Being Right”

After I finished reading this chapter, it was like my radar for seeing the telltale signs of I-have-to-be-right syndrome upgraded by tenfold.

I’d been bothered by this a lot lately: Why do people get so worked up about proving others wrong? There’s just no way that actively correcting people leaves them feeling good. Is the rush from feeling better than the other person really worth it ALL the time?

I get that all wanna be on the right side of information but sometimes we need to sit TF down.

Remember when your friend misstated a well-known fact or got some insignificant detail of a story wrong? Remember how adamant you were about pointing out their verbal mistake? NOW remember how you left that friend feeling a little dumber after you interrupted them. Yeah you fluffed up your ego a bit but did you feel 100% great? Nah. Well, I hope NAH.

Dr. Carlson writes: “…our ego mistakenly believes that if we point out how someone else is wrong, we must be right, and therefore we will feel better.” BUT in reality, both sides feel like crap, maybe even a little worse.

As a highly non-confrontational person, I’ve always wondered WHY THE FUSS. They’ll figure out they were wrong in their own time and they’ll only secretly feel dumb without harboring any ill feelings toward you.

Dr. Carlson ain’t saying you should be a wimp or keep quiet about what you believe in, just choose your battles wisely, my guy.

If you INSIST on being right, you’re screwing with YOUR INNER PEACE. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t wanna put my inner peace in more jeopardy than it has to be.

So let’s be good, let the friend keep talking, and enjoy the mfkin story. Good vibes only.

tuck me in …

on the softest couch man can make

bring as many shiba inus you can fit in your car

but deliver the magic number of doges please

not so many that I can’t love em all, and

not so few that the doggo-sized hole in my soul is not filled up

 

please position three pups on either side of me

and place the two calmest ones in my lap

 

also, don’t forget 3 orders of maple fried chicken from The Egg Shop

and the entire menu from that chicken shop in Sinchon I love so much

 

what’s that?

yeah, I know it’s in KOREA

I’m FROM there, of course I know

but I believe in you

I always have

 

once you’ve made my day, and possibly my week

please take your leave

 

actually no, stay

 

I can’t reach the poultry

 

 

thoughts in no particular order

stifled? suffocated?

one of these fits my mood as of late

and I know why

it’s too easy – I’m an open book to myself

so now I exhale

via these keys and this screen

---

me after flossing:

*brushes tongue over clean gums*

well…that’s one thing going for me

---

a couple of months ago,

when the days were longer and the air much stickier,

I was told I would enter a ‘season of labor’

I still don’t know what that means

---

2016 is the year I discovered I am a worry wart

damn

but I wanna live long and prosper

---

on the day after christmas,

I finally went for that jog my body had been nagging at me to take all weekend

if you had seen me,

you would’ve thought someone had confessed through text

I stretched my limbs and

my muscles, arms, chest – my collective being

laughed a laugh of release and unfiltered delight that said,

“my body is strong”

 

 

hair is life

Times change, so does hair. I’ve wrecked my locks with chemicals more than I can recall. Here are the highlights (pun intended).

Phase 1: Typical
First dye job way back when I was a little nugget in Korea. I’m pretty sure I had cliché brassy highlights for a while.

Phase 2: Taken Down by The Man
Came to America and enrolled into a strict Catholic elementary school. School matriarchy told me to dye my hair back to original color because of dress code. The Man: 1, me: 0

Phase 3: Wasn’t My Idea
Went light for the first time in Korea – SURPRISINGLY to the urging of my dad. The result: brassy AF blonde, horrified daughter, pleased father.

Phase 4: Possibly the Best I Ever Had
High school = red. Red wine hair carries a lot of memories from the good ole teen days. 1 am walks home from BFF’s house. Marathon of late night munchies. Chillin’ on my roof, littered with thoughts as numerous as the stars in the sky.

Phase 5: Back to Black
Went dark back and forth in college. Maybe being surrounded by so many white people made me want to go back to my roots (pun intended), and not look like an assimilating light haired Asian???

Phase 6: Bleach Burns
Finally did it, with the help of a friend. Got the long coveted ash blonde. Not the exact shade I dreamt of, but good enough (just like my GPA).

Phase 7: Second Thoughts
“Ok maybe I don’t look as poppin’ as I thought” – covered that albino sh*t up with dark brown.

Phase 8: IDGAF
Currently drifting through life as a boring, brassy carrot head with insane roots.

Phase 9: ROSE PINK?
Please pray for a possible hair makeover.

 

midnight mood

Long time no C, you brilliant bagels.

Midnight is technically over as it is 1:45 AM in NYC, but here are some tunes for that distinct midnight mood.

If this jam were an ocean, I’d willingly drown in it. UGH. Ya feel me?

yes

A feel good one with some gospel vibes in the chorus. OHKAY honestly it still makes me feel bittersweet about my situation as a majorly single sailor scout.

I haven’t listened to the whole thing yet but it GOOD.

All these beat tapes are killin me…My “Up Next” tab is one potential mix of goodies after the other. HAAAALP.

“I’m in love with a boy” – me in a few months or…tmro pls. k thnx bye.

Hope you like what you pulled out of my figurative suggestion box. I’d love to receive some picks from you as well~ Share de love.

Night night,

Nagurt

#KoreanAmericans4BlackLives

NY Times | Death in Black and White

“At birth, you are given a pair of binoculars that see black life from a distance, never with the texture of intimacy. Those binoculars are privilege; they are status, regardless of your class. In fact the greatest privilege that exists is for white folk to get stopped by a cop and not end up dead when the encounter is over.

Those binoculars are also stories, bad stories, biased stories, harmful stories, about how black people are lazy, or dumb, or slick, or immoral, people who can’t be helped by the best schools or even God himself. These beliefs don’t make it into contemporary books, or into most classrooms. But they are passed down, informally, from one white mind to the next.”

---

I love my Korean American community, but we’re so guilty of biases against our black neighbors. Most or all of us are aware that Korean store employees keep a closer watch on anyone with dark skin who steps inside their store. We’ve seen and laughed at YouTube videos that parody that. They’re funny because they’re true, but it points to the deeper context of troubled minority relations that demands our attention.

We may be the “model minority” but it’s a double-edged sword that gives us a trickled down form of white privilege. It presents Asians as the pristine, overeducated, hardworking, and law-abiding role model of a group BUT it lumps the colorful myriad of Asian communities altogether AND pits fellow minorities against each other. This model minority myth may benefit us to an extent but it’s detrimental from a bird’s eye view of race relations. We might “have it better” than our black peers, but don’t forget about Vincent Chin or the lot of us who are harassed subtly or bluntly just for the way we look.

Things don’t change unless we’re vocal about it! Many of us are silent about our anger and too many more are unaware of race history. We need to educate ourselves as “people of color” and spread awareness of all micro and macro forms of racism in this country. ‪#‎AsianAmericans4BlackLives‬‪ #stay woke ‬

free fall

Here’s some sorta relevant pics to start this short and stubby post:

‘Uneasy’ sums up how I’ve felt for the last two weeks.

‘Unreal’ describes how life feels like right now.

‘AHHHHHHHH’ is the most repeated phrase in my social media posts this week.

My best friend and I shared our tumultuous emotions over a brief Facebook phone call and I think what I said describes this season perfectly: “we’re free falling into adulthood.”

What really irks and frustrates me right now is that nothing satisfies me. Not friend time, good music, gelato…Not even spaghetti.

Please keep me in your thoughts as I a) perfect final papers, b) present my senior research project, c) pack everything I own, and d) walk at commencement.

Some jams before I go eat (OBVI):

 

See ya l8r,

Nagurt

 

take a pause

On Sunday, I furiously procrastinated by watching “meh” shows on Netflix. I still can’t figure out if I dig BoJack Horseman or not but man, it is deep – it gets real, real fast. Master of None is alright, mainly because I think Aziz Ansari is alright. After mindlessly watching, the finale episode caught me off guard with its The Bell Jar reference (here’s an amazing illustration of the quote from the book). The takeaway simply is: indecisiveness is a double-edged sword that can either prevent a stupid mistake or get you nowhere. You can want all the figs (metaphors for life paths), but you can only choose one, no matter how much it sucks to lose the others. If you take too long to decide on just one fig, you’ll lose them all. I related so hard to that.

There’s a lot going on in my life at the moment.

I received a reply from a rep of the company I really, REALLY want to intern for. The email sounds like the near future’s pretty bright, but who knows, RIGHT?

I love my friends. They make me laugh, and I make them laugh. That’s all I need right now. Friends who listen to me and laugh with/at me.

April is coming to a close and the month of university’s end (in all its various forms) is coming up on my right. I’m anxious, nervous, jittery, and everything in between.

A girlfriend I met while studying abroad in Korea together is coming THIS WEDNESDAY to stay for a couple days. I called the restaurant for a group dinner with some of my close pals and successfully made a reservation in broken Itanglish (Italian + English). I know now that I can’t correctly count aloud in Italian because I just confuse myself and everybody involved. I have nothing to show for the three years of Italian courses I painfully struggled through. A total BUMMER.

Speaking of dinners! My past poli-sci professor invited me and two other kiddos out to dinner with him and his colleague for helping make their soon-to-be published article possible. Of course, I accepted. What an honor! But the thought of eating in front of any educator is so unsettling for me (HAHA). Thank GLOB I’ll have my gal pal with me though.

The same gal pal, Ari, convinced me to partner with her as co-host for our school’s travel photography awards called Travies. I still wonder WHY…WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS?! It’ll be fine though. We’ll SLAY.

I still need to finalize my senior research paper on meokbang (eating show trend from Korea now rampant on YouTube). I’m almost done, but still need to connect some synapses. IT NEEDS SPARK!

Yeah, I’ve been unloading minivan loads of emotions and thoughts on Snapchat and Twitter lately, and now WordPress. But I miss paper and pen, ya know? I mean, my journal and Pentel R.S.V.P. are lying right next to me on the desk but I don’t reach for them as often as before anymore. That makes me sad.

I hope you liked reading through my rambling. I personally feel somewhat better and I hope it sparked some reflection in you too.

I wish you a week of fabulous vocabulary, sunshine, and the feeling you get after eating healthy.

Peace out, Sailor Scout.

I leave you with some musical accompaniment:

 

april • twelf

You know I literally have 33 days left till I reach the crossroads – GRADUATION.

I caught up with an old buddy of mine this morning.

I missed you, 8tracks.

I stopped using it after its terms changed or something, because now only some of its storehouse of rad playlists were available to me (I live in Switzerland).

A lovely playlist going by the name of “COFFEESHOP CHILLIN” helped me ease into my morning routine. The first song on the list is a claaassic:

Don’t you love a song that pumps you up to change the world and win at life?

We’re all aware of John’s unsightly expressions when he gets groovy, but we’re not all superficial here. Craft > looks, that’s the word.

I won’t drone on and on about my day. I don’t wanna ruin it and I also don’t wanna stress about the long night ahead of me. So, I’ll leave my tweet here:

2day was just right

I am #goldilocks and today is baby bear's bowl of soup
except I don't break into strangers' homes

— Na Hyun Kim (@nanaturale) April 12, 2016

peace out girl scout,

NaNa

emotion limbo

When you feel a new emotion, you better write that down. And do your best to explain it as accurately as you can.

That’s me right now.

Have you ever felt caught in the emotion limbo between

“everything’s going to be incredibly alright, like better than you think” and

“everything’s going to sh*t, like worse than you think“?

Well, I just did – in the shower after making myself go outside for an evening walk. I’ve been repeating that over and over in my head so I wouldn’t forget. And I know for a fact that if I hadn’t gone outside, I wouldn’t have experienced this “emotion evolution.”

I feel as if I’ve just leveled up. It’s not a roaring transformation, but loud enough to let you know it’s there.

For some context, I’m caught between “OMG I NEED AN INTERNSHIP SCHOOLWORK MEANS NOTHING” and “omg I need to find a healthy balance between the two but omg HOW.” I’m sure one of you understands this.

And this new emotion is pretty scary, yo. I realized (for real) that it’s up to me. I’m the one responsible for my future. Not my parents nor my friends. The future is a real thing. It’s heading straight for me like the morning.

Long story short, I’m scared of taking responsibility for my future. I know I’m capable, but if I acknowledge that, I might jinx myself. So, I won’t blab about that.

Here’s the soundtrack to this epiphany:

May Sam Kim’s tunes help you gain your own sudden insight too.

Peace and less stress,

NaNa

http://naaesthetic.tumblr.com/post/142598977923